When the petty is not so petty

There are small issues and then there are the big issues in life. What makes something worth worrying? Probably it all boils down to priorities isn't it? But how do we set priorities? Its not so simple as it seems. For most people who get hassled way too often, 'You got to get your priorities right' is the most heard phrase. 

Lets have a look at the following generalized scenarios (these are purely fictional characters and have no intention of hurting anyone's sentiments)

Scenario 1

College going students' concerns are mostly academics, girlfriends or boyfriends and then there could be fashion and ultimately career. Are they even interested to know whether the house maid came to clean or not? Whether the electricity bill is paid back home, in case they live with their parents. They have their priorities quite clear. C'mon who cares about whether the room is even clean! Give it a break dude! For them the real problem is when the best friend gets hooked with his crush. That is a problem.

Scenario 2

A homemaker's only concern is food, clearly the topmost priority, apart from her kitty parties and socializing. Food for the husband, food for the children, food for the dog, then the cleaning maids, the clothes, so on and so forth. How does a homemaker even care if Infosys's CEO resigns, or suddenly the most sought after job these days is of a consultant. Really? If the cleaning lady doesn't come, well, hell definitely breaks loose.

Scenario 3

For a typical corporate guy, the priority is basically promotion, increase in salary, perks, competition basically. Mostly stressed about work. Ask him how much are potatoes for these days? He'll probably start calling you a potato in return, forever. And we mean forever. And then probably quote a price, do an analysis on it, with a competitive strategy in place and end up with a business plan. How much are potatoes for actually? Are you crazy? If a colleague gets promoted instead of him after working for 2 years on a project, just because she's the boss's favorite, now that is a bigger question for him.

It's very easy to be judgmental, for the corporate guy to tell the homemaker she's a potato just because she knows how much that costs. Or for the homemaker to be cold to the feelings of the college going student because her maid didn't come or vice versa. Whatever the scenario maybe, if each one tries just a little bit to step out of their own shoes and think, what's petty for them may not be so petty for someone else. A small change in the mindset after all, might make the world a better place to live.

One way traffic.

How often does it happen when someone calls you for some advice and you land up struggling to complete one single sentence? Only one single sentence my dear friends, to at least do justice to deliver whatever wisdom that the person thought you might have.

And what happens after all the rattling and a banter of words, of the sob story and human dynamics, the helplessness of your friend, the only words you can manage are, 'Yes, that's sad, but..' and she takes over, continues for fifteen minutes, and again you give another shot. 'You shouldn't lose hope and...', and there goes another ten more minutes of the remnants of the story. 'I think let's meet and...' and then the story slowly comes to an end. The entire conversation probably would last for 30 minutes or sometimes even 40 minutes. Not even one complete sentence from my side (just to remind you).

Without having said anything at all, the friend seems to be pleased and motivated too. And here I'm left pondering and wondering what exactly did I say? 

Only one way traffic works for some, probably.

Does Anyone Talk

A couple of decades ago, of what I remember, the most cherished moments were families, friends, and cousins getting together on holidays and the entire house would be full of sound of people, warm voices. There would be aunt gossip sessions in one room, teenage cousins giggling away to glory somewhere else and the boisterous kids running all around the house making a mess of everything. Not to forget there was delicious food flowing as if there was nothing else to do. Just eat, talk, play, run around and again the cycle repeats. The usual hush-hush of teens trying to hide something from adults. Everything was pure and light hearted.

So much for the flash back. Now, who talks? Who really has the time to talk? Thanks to the internet, mobile phones, and above all, simple messaging. Everyone seems to be so addicted to the very art of punching in some alphabets on the phone, and clicking that 'send' button, whether the spellings or the language is correct or not, lets not even get into that. No emotions, no connect. Something needs to be conveyed and with just a click of a few buttons apparently everything seems to be said and done. 

Assumption is what most of us live with these days, for instance, if someone sends me a message 'wud u like 2 meet 2day'. My first reaction 'What?? No way!'. But, messaging gives you time to think, you can be fake, you can write what you don't want to. And you can 'pretend'. Now, how genuine the other person is when that message is written is also questionable. Nevertheless, the reply to this absurd message from my side would be 'Sorry, I'm busy' or in a scenario where the language is so pathetic I would probably land up blocking the person to never be able to message me again. Who wants to go through this entire episode once again! Other scenarios are where, like I read somewhere how people break off and even get divorced just over a simple message!

The days when conversations were easy, they were natural, straight from the heart, no pretending, just being the way one is, has been far left behind to the formalities and coldness of messaging and typed words. Somewhere, people are forgetting to be true to themselves and thereby to others. Relationships falling apart, shallow friendships, the human race is simply losing the human touch. As Bruce Springsteen put it in the beautiful song, all we need today is just  'A little bit of that human touch'.